


Why would I give her my screwdriver?

by PondSong322



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 22:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6585925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PondSong322/pseuds/PondSong322
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the Doctor could reach out to his former self and will him to save River Song...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why would I give her my screwdriver?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back for the end of my piece about the Singing Towers, but it ended up feeling unnecessary for that. Still, I thought it was a nice speech, the Doctor really being honest with himself about River, and I didn't want to get rid of it completely. So I saved it separately as a stand-alone fragment: the thoughts the Doctor might communicate to his younger self in the Library if he could.
> 
> Screenplay format :).

THE DOCTOR

                                                                     I know you have no idea who she is, or what she’ll come to  
                                                                     mean to you, but you’re a clever one, at least you think  
                                                                     you are, so...come on, Doctor...figure it out. You have to.  
                                                                     Please. Save her.  
                                                                                             (Beat)  
                                                                     You don't know it now, but one day, one day you'll understand.  
                                                                     She loves you. She loves you completely, fearlessly. She'll risk  
                                                                     tearing time apart just to show you how much. She'll try to kill  
                                                                     you a couple of times (and who hasn’t really), but it's not her  
                                                                     fault, it all gets straightened out, water under the bridge.  
                                                                     Time and again, she'll show you the strength of her hearts, her  
                                                                     courage, her intelligence. She'll stand beside you. And she'll  
                                                                     stand up to you when you need someone to, when you’re being  
                                                                     moody and unreasonable. And she'll comfort you when you  
                                                                     need that, too. She'll baffle and infuriate you. She'll come at you  
                                                                     like a supernova. She'll bedevil and beguile you, and she’ll stir  
                                                                     desire in you. She'll challenge you to always be better because  
                                                                     she believes in you. And she'll know you, really know you,  
                                                                     sometimes better than you know yourself, even as she keeps a  
                                                                     mystery about her. She'll never hesitate in the face of danger,  
                                                                     because she has faith in you. So you must always be there to  
                                                                     catch her. Because she'll always be there just when you need her.  
                                                                     And she'll run with you. Oh how you'll run! And one day, you'll  
                                                                     realize you've always known there was something extraordinary  
                                                                     between you, something stronger and more powerful than anything  
                                                                     in all of time and space, yet something so simple, so wonderful.  
                                                                     And because you're an idiot you'll fight it and resist it because  
                                                                     you know the end already and you're afraid of what that means.  
                                                                     But you look at her, and you can't help it. Why would you want to?  
                                                                     Because... you love her. Oh god do you love her. Like you never  
                                                                     knew you could. And believe it or not, you'll marry her. She'll be  
                                                                     your wife. All those times you'll ask who she is...some part of you  
                                                                     will know the answer. It's inevitable. And with her, for a time,  
                                                                     you'll have something you never thought could be yours. Something  
                                                                     you didn't know you were missing, didn't know you needed, and  
                                                                     once you have it, you won't want to let it go. But you'll have to.  
                                                                     You'll have to because if you don't, it'll mean you've never met at all.  
                                                                     And you can't do that to her. You can't take that away from her...  
                                                                     Because she'd rather die than lose those times.  
                                                                                             (Beat)  
                                                                     You'll wonder, I know you will, whether it was all worth it, knowing  
                                                                     the end before the beginning. And the answer is...of course it is.  
                                                                     Love, real love, is worth any price. Amelia knew that. You'll meet  
                                                                     her soon, too. So Scottish....  
                                                                                             (Beat)  
                                                                     So be brave, Doctor. Don’t run from this. You'll be thick for a  
                                                                     while, but that'll pass. And you'll come to recognize what an  
                                                                     amazing being has dropped into your life, and what a lucky fool  
                                                                     you are, and how much worse off you'd have been without her,  
                                                                     and how much it's going to hurt when you lose her. Just do your  
                                                                     best to deserve her. And save her now. Because when you get to  
                                                                     where I am, after having centuries to think about it, you won't want  
                                                                     to say goodbye. How can you? You'll want to hold on to her any way  
                                                                     you can. Because you’ll know where she’s heading. She’ll be looking  
                                                                     for you, but when she finds you, you won’t know who she is and that...  
                                                                     that’s the worst of all: the pain you’ll cause her, unintentionally of  
                                                                     course, but still...after all you’ve been through together, you’ll break  
                                                                     her heart. She’ll think she’s hiding it, that you can’t see how it hurts her.  
                                                                     And she’ll still save your life, again, and thousands of others, by giving  
                                                                     her own. Because that’s who she is. And that’s why you love her.  
                                                                     And why I always will.


End file.
